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i trust so hard

from i trust so hard by shankwiler

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lyrics

every day the ibuprofen take longer to kick in
my face is more malled and saggy
my mind is more twisted and bombarded with it’s own thoughts
my actions are more and less severe with consequences more devastating.
every day it hurts more.
the lies, the deceit, the games.
every day I hurt more than the day before.
if this keeps up, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep myself.
my time here is so short.
so short.
how can one person have so many tears?
Is there a capacity to the love you can keep in your heart?
are scars still cool if someone gave them to you out of anger?
can you see scars in the heart? in the mind? in the soul?
IT STILL HURTS SO BAD!
Im so upset. so distraught.
I fear I WONT still be here in October.
I’m already past the point of forever young.
Another year, another battle scar.
no ears within reach. they’re all pushed away.
I can only hope I’ve left something behind somewhere that lifts someone up.
I was never here to tear anyone down.
But they were. They were here to tear me down and I let them.
I welcomed them with open arms, I left myself open and vulnerable.
I trust so hard.

credits

from i trust so hard, released August 12, 2016

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shankwiler Ypsilanti, Michigan

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